Boston, MA-- Record amounts of firework debris plummeted into the Charles River and the faces of unsuspecting spectators at yesterday's 35th anniversary of Boston Pops. The music and fireworks 4th of July spectacle, usually a celebration of patriotic American glee, became a nightmarish event for the more than 500,000 attendees who had left their firework-preventative eyewear at home.
"I'm lucky I had my glasses on, or the flying bits of paper may have blinded me," said Nick Benavides, an out-of-towner. "This wasn't exactly the welcome to Boston that I expected."
Benavides' girlfriend, Maggie Beidelman, actually had to sit down to watch the fireworks from the bank of the Charles in order to avoid bits of flying ash, which were being carried by the strong southeastern wind. "I waited four hours for these fireworks, and then I could barely look at them," she mumbled, disgruntled.
Luckily, the tons of firework debris that were dumped into the Charles River finalized the recent struggle of fish population control that has been disturbing the river for years.
"If it wasn't for these fireworks, we may never have found a way to kill off all the fish," said Thomas Greene, head of the Environmental Post for Environmentally Friendly Fish Killers. Well, thank goodness for that.
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