The Dunkin' Donuts Diet

Chocolate Glazed Cake Donut (Dunkin' Donuts)
Serving Size: 1 Donut; Calories: 280, Total Fat: 15g, Carbs: 33g, Protein: 3g

"Americans run on Dunkin' Donuts." I just don't see how this can be the famous donut chain's motto. I had one Chocolate Glazed Cake Donut and an iced coffee slushy thingy, and I am far from motivated to run.

In Boston, there is a Dunkin' Donuts on every corner, and there's always somebody in it. Is this a scheme to get all east coast Americans to have heart attacks, telling them that it will keep them running? Is this another attempt at population control?

I dunno, maybe I should try it. The Dunkin' Donuts Diet. Just Dunkin' Donuts, three meals a day. And go running inbetween meals. When I have a heart attack from all the delicious donuts, do you think I can sue?